Gender Reveal
by LadyDivine91
Summary: When Mercedes finds out the gender of Kurt and Sebastian's baby, they just want to know - no frills. But when Rachel steps in and convinces Mercedes they should have a 'gender reveal party', it stirs up major angst with Sebastian ... who ends up revealing much more than the fact that he wants to set Rachel's hair on fire. Kurtbastian Kurt H. Sebastian S.


"Why are we doing this?" Sebastian says, scowling at the eggs crowding the table top in front of him. "Why do we let your friends torture us like this?"

"Come on, Sebastian. This is going to be fun!" Kurt says, smiling tightly because he feels the same way, even if he doesn't want to admit it. After Mercedes's last trip to her OB/GYN, Kurt and Sebastian just wanted to know the gender of their little bun in her oven. But a spontaneous lunch with Rachel and a long-winded discussion about 'the perfect baby shower' had Mercedes convinced that a 'gender reveal' party would be a fun and exciting way to tell Kurt and Sebastian what gender their baby would be. It was a huge surprise to Kurt when she told them because Mercedes always called things like 'gender reveal parties' _white people nonsense_. And Kurt agreed, especially when the prospect of having one meant that she – and worst of all, _Rachel_ – were holding the gender of their baby hostage. When Kurt tried to tell Mercedes they weren't fans of things like that, especially not Sebastian, she burst into tears.

After that, there was no way Kurt could say _no_.

Becoming pregnant has definitely softened her up a bit.

It'll be nice to get the old Mercedes back.

Meanwhile, he's had to do everything in his power to keep his husband from burning Rachel with a lit cigarette every time she walks by, and he doesn't even smoke.

"I don't think for a second that you honestly believe that," Sebastian says, glaring down Rachel as she passes by with a plate of cupcakes and reaching for the lighter he's taken to carrying in his back pocket.

"Whether I do or not, it's too late now," Kurt says, swiping it when Sebastian goes so far as to remove it.

"Okay, well, when do we get this horseshit over with so you and I can celebrate on our own?"

"Come on, everybody! Come on! Gather around!" Rachel beckons in that singsong voice that tends to make everything about her for no reason. "It's the moment we've all been waiting for! The moment when Kurt and Sebastian reveal the gender of their baby!"

As their friends and family cheer, Sebastian groans, backing away from the table, looking to make a hasty retreat. But Kurt, waving at the crowd gathering in the rows of seats lined in front of them like they're about to put on a show, grabs his husband by the shirt and tugs him back into place.

"Alright, guys. Alright. Now here's how this is going to go down," Mercedes explains. "Both Kurt and Sebastian have two dozen eggs a piece filled with confetti. _Most_ of them are yellow. But somewhere in there is an egg filled with either blue or pink confetti. I'm the only one who knows for sure."

"And me!" Rachel says, hand in the air.

Sebastian pats his back pocket for his lighter, Rachel's hair temptingly close. He clenches his teeth when he remembers Kurt has it.

"I'll go first," Kurt says because the sooner they get this over with, the better. He hovers his hand over the eggs, pretending like he's seriously trying to select the right one. He grabs one, cracks it open on the table, and …

"Oh! It's yellow!" Rachel says, clapping and bouncing on the balls of his feet like a five-year-old.

"Womp-womp!" Sam says.

Sebastian turns his sights on Kurt's friend and glares.

"Sebastian, now it's your turn."

Sebastian grabs an egg, aiming to throw it at Sam's forehead, but Kurt grabs his wrist and re-directs it to the table. Sebastian growls at Kurt, then breaks it open, and …

"Another yellow!"

Sebastian looks at the remaining gaggle of eggs and sighs. "This is going to be a _long_ afternoon."

"Can't you at least pretend you're having fun?" Kurt asks, cracking another egg on the table without even looking at it.

"Yellow!" the crowd announces, Rachel's voice the loudest of the bunch.

"No. No, I can't! (*Crack* "Yellow!") Because I'm _not_ having fun."

"Well, how could we have made it fun for you? (*Crack* "Yellow!") You never gave any suggestions?"

"How about beer? (*Crack*) Lots of beer. ("Yello-!" *Crack*) And not playing these stupid fucking games!"

(*Crack*) "Do you think ("Yellow!") I'm having (*Crack* "Yellow!" *Crack* "Uh … Kurt, honey …?") any more fun than you are?"

"Yes. Yes, I do, because this is the kind of _Parenting_ magazine bullshit you get off on!" (*Crack, crack, crack!* "Uh … guys? You wanna slow down …?")

"Well, not this time buckaroo!" (*Crack*) But I grin (*Crack*) and bear it (*Crack*) because I love my friends and I happen to be a decent human being!"

(*Crack*) "Are you saying I'm not a decent human being?" (*Crack*)

(*Crack*) "That's exactly what I'm saying!"

"Well, thank you very much! (*Crack*) Because that's the nicest thing (*Crack*) you've said to me all afternoon!"

(*Crack*) "You're proud of that?"

(*Crack*) "Yes! If it means that I avoid things like this and I get to celebrate the way I want to!" (*Crack*)

"Oh? And how's that?" (*Crack*)

"Home alone (*Crack*) with the husband I love!"

(*Crack*) "You love me?" (*Crack*)

"Yeah! (*Crack*) I love you! And you know what else?" (*Crack*)

(*Crack*) "What else!?"

(*Crack*) "I think you're going to make a really good father!"

"Yeah! Well I …" Kurt stares at his husband, egg in hand, but he doesn't crack it "… what?"

Yellow confetti covers the floor about an inch deep around their feet, and the crowd has gone quiet.

Sebastian, equally armed, puts down his egg. "I think you're going to make a really good father. And I'm sorry if I haven't said it before, but … knowing how amazing a dad you're going to be? It just reminds me how _not_ good at this _I'm_ going to be."

"How can you even say that?"

"Because I've never been a good person, or a good _friend_. I mean, look at us! This is our baby's shower and here I am, in front of all your friends, picking a fight with you!" Sebastian toys with his egg, picking at the paint on the outside, avoiding Kurt's eyes. "But I … I don't really mean it. I just don't know how to tell you …"

Kurt steps toward him, puts a hand on his arm, squeezes gently. "Tell me what?"

"That I'm scared. That this is the biggest step I've ever taken in my life, and for the first time, I don't think I can do it. And I'm scared that you're going to hate me and the kid's going to resent me, and you might end up taking them and leaving. I'm absolutely terrified that this is the beginning of the end of my life with you, but there's nothing I can do about it. There's no turning back now."

"Sebastian, honey, you are going to be an _amazing_ dad!"

Sebastian huffs. "Yeah, right."

"And do you know how I know?" Kurt asks undeterred.

"How?"

"Because you're scared you won't be. The best parents I know have gone into parenthood scared to death and full of doubt. They weren't cocky, didn't think that it was going to be easy. They were conscientious, humble, and determined to do their best. And the entire time I've known you, you've never been _any_ of those things ..."

Sebastian frowns. "Nice."

"… until now," Kurt continues, pinching Sebastian's flank. "And considering the list of parenting books I know you have saved on your Kindle, the college fund you demanded we set up even before we knew Mercedes was expecting, and every last legal and financial detail you've covered to make sure our baby would be cared for if anything happened to us – things I never would have thought of! – I know you are going to make the best dad ever. And as for leaving …" Kurt shakes his head "… I wouldn't want to go into this adventure hand-in-hand with anybody else, Sebastian. No one but you."

"Really?" Sebastian says, peeking up from his egg.

"Really."

"I love you, babe."

"I love you, too."

Kurt's next step leads him into his husband's arms, and Sebastian wraps him up tight. Their awestruck audience begins to applaud, teary-eyed at the two men covered in confetti and holding one another. The eggs they're holding completely forgotten get crushed in their hands as they abandon hugging in favor of kissing. The confetti hiding inside flutters to the ground, and their guests begin to cheer loudly again.

"It's a boy!"

"It's a girl!"

Kurt and Sebastian's eyes go wide before they disengage from one another's lips.

"Wh-what?" Kurt asks, looking confused at the joyful faces around him.

"You're having twins!" Mercedes announces, clapping her hands with a ridiculous smile on her face.

"Look, Kurt." Sebastian holds out his hand, palm flat, spotted with pink and blue confetti.

"Twins?" Kurt gasps.

"Oh my God!" Sebastian gathers his husband back in his arms for another celebratory kiss.

"Yes! Twins!" Rachel crows, meandering around the table and nearly in between Kurt and Sebastian as she declares, "Do you know how hard it was keeping that a secret from you two? It took all of my focus and skill as an actress to …" She continues talking, wandering through the crowd, regaling anyone who has the misfortune of looking her way with the story of her incredible deception and self-control.

Kurt feels his husband's arms tense, his fingers curling into his back with every inflection of her voice.

"Sebastian?" he whispers, fighting for his husband's focus.

He gets an answer, but not his eyes. "Yes, love?"

"Just to show you how much I love you …" Kurt collects the rest of the eggs and hands them off to Sebastian.

Sebastian looks down at them, cradled in the curve of his left arm, and raises a brow. "Why are you giving me these?"

"Consider them ammunition." Kurt gestures to Rachel. "Go get her!"


End file.
